


Live and Learn

by morosophe



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Undisclosed Fandom
Genre: But then it wouldn't be a stealth crossover!, Canon Compliant, Crossover, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, I know I should tag the other fandom(s) involved, Iron Man 1, Stark Industries, Stealth Crossover, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-03-14
Packaged: 2018-03-17 20:41:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3543098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morosophe/pseuds/morosophe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>About a week after his press conference ending Stark Industries' weapons production, Tony Stark faces some of the new realities in his life.  Surprisingly, they're not all grim.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Live and Learn

Tony Stark hated getting mail. Even after being screened by security for physical _and_ written threats, it was a melange of invitations to events Obie would make him go to for the sake of PR, invitations to events he would go to purely to spite Obie and remind everyone of what his "image" actually was, requests for money ranging the spectrum from overt to well-disguised, and the legal fallout of any of the half-dozen suits that were routinely filed against Tony himself as well as Stark Enterprises. It always felt like mail was this pile of "Don't want to deal with it" that had been successfully passed from the sender to Tony. Either it was a waste of his time, or it _really_ wasted his time, requiring concentration and decisions made when he always had thirty dozen better things to do, inventions to create, people to see, worlds to change.

The flood of condolences received in the mail after his parents' death may have started this conception of the post in Tony's mind, along with providing him the motivation to really get JARVIS' OCS up to spec and make sure the learning system got intelligent enough for triage, but well over a decade of being Tony Stark on top of it had only cemented it. When he finally trusted Pepper enough to dump it all on her, it only got worse. Any piece of mail that passed security and JARVIS _and_ Pepper was sure to be a migraine in an envelope, stealing from Tony's quickly exhaustible supplies of patience and time, and providing very little in the way of benefit. It was never good news: communications from all of his friends were always delivered by much more forward-thinking means of communication. It got so Tony wouldn't even take the packages, making Pepper stick them in a corner and wait for his attention like he was playing mind games with some rival come to discuss things with him. It may have been petty and pointless, but after all, he _was_ Tony Stark.

So when Pepper interrupted Tony's work on his Mark II (just when he almost had that wiring problem on the wrists figured out!) by sticking something in his face, her reception was probably not what the innocuous-looking envelope really warranted. She ignored his expletives with the ease of long practice and insisted, "Tony, I really think you should read this one. Also, eat." Tony started to glare at her, but that involved looking at her, and the worn, pinched look on her face softened him in turn. Less than a fortnight ago, she had been frantic with worry for him, and he was a good enough boss to cater to the woman that had been one of two people instrumental in keeping Stark Industries afloat without him for three months. He resolutely ignored the facts that 1) his hands were trembling, 2) reading mail addressed to him and screened by his friends was no longer on his list of actual torture methods, and 3) two weeks ago he would have given anything to see Pepper again. He sighed, shifted, stripped off his gear, grabbed the envelope, and slid out its contents from the already-slit top. A quick page-through while Pepper grabbed his elbow and levered him to his feet was enough to let him know what its contents were: an offering--more like an advertisement--for Stark Industries to exclusively license... What was this? Some kind of chemical combination that would melt snow and ice at lower temperatures than what was already on the market, with fewer knock-on effects on the environment?

"Peps, why am I looking at this? This should go to Stark Industries R&D, and frankly, it doesn't look like the kind of thing we really do. I mean, I love the three pages about careful analysis of environmental impact, and how you might not want to use this stuff near begonias, but really, Pepper!"

Pepper interrupted the rant he had just been starting with "Two reasons, Tony," and forcefully pushed him into the freight elevator. "First of all, if you'd bothered to look at the cover letter, you would see that this was sent in honor of your new vision for the company. The sender admits that Stark Industries might still have no interest in his invention, in which case he'll send it over to B&Y like he was going to in the first place, but he thought it was worthwhile to send it here, since it shouldn't require much refiguring of some of our current equipment, which is, I'll remind you, lying useless at the factory right now."

"Oh, that's cute. I hadn't really thought about that, but way to go for cashing in on current events in a different way than just selling your SI stock. Are we getting a lot of these offers lately?" On the other hand, it was true that most of his ideas were for things that would need a whole lot more out of electronics and fabrication than they would out of the factory full of big vats that had been used to make up weapons payloads. Sure, he could sell it, but it wasn't like it'd go for top dollar. The place had been running pretty much the same way, bar the minor changes needed to comply with every wave of new requirements, for thirty years or so. It would take as much trouble to get it sale-ready as it would to just change it over to this stuff, anyway. Tony shook his head and returned his attention to Pepper, who was now waiting for him to leave the elevator.

"Stark R&D has reported an increase of 312% in submissions over the past quarter," JARVIS informed them both as Tony exited, switching smoothly from the speakers inside to those outside the elevator for the transition. Apparently, Tony's period of being... incommunicado, along with his current "recovery," had convinced every hopeful inventor out there that SI didn't actually belong to Tony anymore. Huh.

"Yes, but I talked with Dave," said Pepper, "and he said that the vast majority of what they're getting now are the equivalent of resumes written in crayon. Desperate ventures from desperate men that haven't done their homework and that nobody could ever want."

"Well," Tony said wryly, looking again at how this stuff had affected a list of things normally grown in planters, "this guy has definitely done his homework."

Pepper continued. "The other reason I brought you that letter... Tony, it was addressed directly to you, not to SI. And did you see who it was from?" He hadn't bothered to look, and the scrawl at the bottom of some of the pages he'd been reading wasn't exactly legible. Tony considered flipping through the pages to find the cover letter that had so enraptured Pepper, then reconsidered and just went for the big yellow envelope that had held them all.

"Calvin Pym?" Tony read disbelievingly. "Calvin Pym actually invented this? Huh. Wow." He considered the paperwork again. Well, that certainly put a different spin on things.

"That's why JARVIS convinced me that you really need to see that. He said you had Mr. Pym on one of your watch lists. Tony, who's Calvin Pym?" Pepper asked anxiously. "Why are you watching him? Is this the beginning of some kind of attack, or something?"

"No, no, no, nothing like that," Tony said, sitting down at the table and kicking out Pepper's chair so she'd join him. Thai, sweet! He hated to admit it, but he was getting a little tired of burgers. "Naw, I just figured, when the kid wouldn't even call me for bail money, I'd been completely written out of his life and so I'd let JARVIS give me any updates. No, Calvin's my cousin. First cousin. Once removed. My mother was his grandfather's sister."

"Oh, one of _those_ Pyms," Pepper said in a tone of realization. "I can see why you were surprised. I thought they had dropped out of the scientific advancement world entirely a couple of generations back. Except for you, of course," she added hastily.

"Well, not entirely," Tony said. "Calvin's dad is a patent attorney, and understands enough engineering to be pretty successful at it. His wife was a chemist over at Hammer Industries when they married, but dropped out of that when she got pregnant. Not early enough," he added mournfully. "Calvin's an only child for a reason, and then she died of leukemia five years ago or so. That's why I did that review of safety practices that got a ton of people canned for ignoring regulations six, seven years ago? She'd just been diagnosed." Tony looked sadly at the pile of noodles on his plate, then decided that digging in sounded like a really good idea. As long as the nam pla hadn't been laced with benzene.

A little later, Tony sat back and contemplated his empty plate. Then he looked at Pepper and decided to pick up the thread of conversation again. "No, what really surprised me is that he was writing to me at all. A couple three years ago, the kid was put in jail for reckless endangerment, or something. He plead out and was sentenced to community service with the stipulation that he receive therapy. Apparently he'd had some kind of psychotic break. I only know all this because JARVIS caught a newspaper article about it. He certainly didn't write to me then. Neither did his dad, or anybody. I figure, I haven't heard from that family in years, and now he's not even applying to me for bail money? Yeah, I'm not exactly in their family Bible anymore."

"But clearly you are," Pepper insisted. "Tony, Calvin may not have wanted your help years ago when he may have been able to use it, but it doesn't mean you've been written off. I mean, it sounds like he'd done something pretty bad. Maybe he felt he deserved his punishment, or was too ashamed to bug you for help. Anyhow, he's asking for help now. Would you think about producing his de-icer? JARVIS says it's viable."

Tony sat back and considered it for a bit. Then he dug out that cover letter and finally read it. It wasn't overly familiar, it didn't cloy; this was unlikely to be a repeat of Cousin Max, then. On the other hand, Calvin's support for what Tony was doing with his company shone through the whole offer, really. "All right, Pepper," he said, "get the lawyers on this and call Calvin in. Let's see what profits we can project and what percentage we should offer him. Make it as high as you can, though, Peps," he added as he started down the stairs back to his workshop. "I mean, it's always good to show a little family support!"

Then he stopped at the landing and called back to Pepper, who was picking up the empty cartons from the table. "Find something new to name it, though. There's no way I'm having anything to do with 'Goon-B-Gone.'"

**Author's Note:**

> So, clearly this is an Iron Man/Calvin & Hobbes crossover (with a little bit of reference to the Marvel Comics Avengers, because, hey! Calvin's family doesn't have last names!). It was partly inspired by a story where Calvin's Mom died, although I can no longer find it. In my head, it continues on with Calvin coming to work for Stark Industries, marrying Susie, and finally having a son they give the name Henry Anthony, (with Tony being the godfather, of course,) but that Calvin insists on calling Antman. Just so you know how my crazy head works.


End file.
